Excerpts
This is part of the dream I had in December of 2008 that prompted me to put my other
work aside and focus on this novel. I still love this part of the book as much as
when I wrote it. It’s from Chapter 12 where I am introducing four new characters
to Angelina. This new character is Christine. Here we go:
... I couldn't sense her movement, but I could hear her footsteps. I didn't realize
it but she was holding out a piece of gum. "Here, it helps me." She stuck the gum
in my mouth. I was startled, but started chewing. The cinnamon taste was so strong
it almost burned.
"You have to breathe when I tell you too. Okay?" She was very excited about showing
me her gift. "Breathe when I tell you!"
"Okay, breathe when you say so, got it." I responded.
Then Christine pushed herself up on her toes and leaned in as close as she could.
She said, "Breathe in now," as she began to blow in my face. I couldn't, not with
her blowing in my face. I began to laugh. She was a little upset but still very
calm. "Trust me a little, would you?" She then took a breath and started again,
"Breathe in now." I inhaled as she blew in my face.
I could see again and I wasn't in my room anymore. I was in a field with lilies
and daises. A bubbling creek was somewhere nearby, just out of sight. I could hear
birds singing. The song was beautiful above the sound of the water. I was sitting
on a soft quilt on a small patch of grass. A breeze carried with it the mist of
the water. I could smell...
"Breathe." That voice was familiar. I trusted it once, I would again. I inhaled
again.
There were screams of agony. Fear gripped my body. I could hear grinding sounds,
whips, and explosions. I was in a seemingly bottomless pit, clinging to the side.
Others were in the pit as well, clinging, climbing, and desperately trying to get
out. More people were smashed together on the walls of the pit than I would have
believed would fit. There was pushing and shoving; they were all covered in sweat
and blood, some slick where it was fresh and some were sticky where it was dried.
The smell of alcohol and urine poisoned the air. The mass struggle of humanity clinging
to the wall, pushing against me, dripping down on me suppressed my fear and started
to drag me into pure panic. I tried to climb up and out, but the top of the pit
kept moving further and further away. I was being dragged lower and lower as others
were grabbing my ankles trying to make their way out. Their expressions were desperate
and I could feel the hopelessness of the moment. Someone above me slipped and landed
on me. My grip was lost and I was falling down into the pit. I screamed till my
lungs felt like they were going to burst and then screamed again. The pit was black,
pure black. Forever falling - I was lost forever. I began to hyperventilate at the
crushing reality. That stinking, sticky, physically oppressive humanity was all
that I had, no matter how much I hated it, and now even that was gone. I was falling
alone deeper and deeper. My chest was constricting…
"Breathe." I could hear her voice, but it was so distant. Was I really still in
that room? No, I was here in hell, falling to a lower level of damnation. Still,
I willed myself to take a large breath.
I was now floating in space. Not the dark black space of night, but the deep, bright
blue space of day. There was no earth, no sun, no moon or stars. There was only
here. I was nude but not naked; there was no shame in my body. There was no shame
at all, no pain, no embarrassment. Everything was right. Everything was blissful.
I was free of all that had tarnished me. I was whole again. As I floated on that
field of blue it was becoming harder and harder to remember that anything had ever
been wrong.
Then there was something out of place, a voice, "Breathe." It was a simple instruction
and I could do that at least. I inhaled...